Feel.
Angry. Disappointed. Mad. Pity. Remorse. Regret.
Hideous. Dissatisfaction. Bad. Naughty. Happy. Delightful. Blessed. Thankful. Loved.
In doubt.
There are some of feeling listed on top. As
saying, there are thousands of feeling in this world; either it is describable
or indescribable. As much as kind of feeling existed, however, not everyone
could feel and really appreciate the presence of the feeling right? It is not
something big but the significance can’t be ignored just like that. For me,
although it is not something that one could make a fuss over it, in my opinion
however, state different. Feeling makes you feel human.
After living 23 years in this world, one of
the thing that I’m grateful for is; being able to feel. I have gone through
lots of things, I have been in so many situation and I have seen so many things
that I think not all people can experience it. And for whatever had happened to
me, either it is a bad thing or one way another, I’m grateful for it. How do I say
this huh? Being able to feel whatever silver lining hiding behind any situation
makes me understand whatever they are being through. I could really understand
the pain and the hidden, surpressed feeling of the heart. It made me transforms
myself into a new person; a person who can put myself in other’s shoe.
I feel delightful when I can understand why
people drive slowly on the main road.
Why? I don’t know. There are so many
reasons leading to the answer of that question. Maybe he is tired, driving
after not sleeping for 32 hours? Driving after being drained and exhausted? Maybe
he doesn’t have any confidence yet to drive swiftly. Maybe he has something
going on in this mind and he needs time to think. Before this, before I could
understand this, I always hate those kind of people. I would tell myself, ‘if
you wanna have a drive, go driving along the beach.’ ‘if you wanna drive slowly
and tired, can u just rest at home?’
Having those kind of thoughts before, I
found myself shameful and pitiful and rude and beyond immature. What kind of
human I am, I feel so bad and selfish. People do thing because of reason, now only
I could understand the clause.
Before, when I heard a friend is hating
someone else because of certain reason, I would hate the ‘hated’ person too
without understanding them or hear the problem from both sides. Now when I have
grown, I always have this thought, PEOPLE DO THINGS FOR REASON. Yesterday, my
friend told me story of her friends who were being bitch towards someone else
who didn’t finish/do their group work. She claimed the friends didn’t have to
be bitch just because the other one didn’t do the tasks. Thinking the solution,
I can’t say A is wrong and B is right or way around. The only way to avoid this
situation is; YOU JUST DO WHATEVER YOU NEED TO DO. A- the being-bitch person,
is a type of people who finished her work on time. She is the type of one who
put work before personal affairs. B- the victim, think she didn’t deserve such
treatment because she also had something going on that’s why she couldn’t finish
the task. For me, this shouldn’t even be a problem if you compromise. I was the
person who had been in the situation for my whole life, so, I could understand
whatever is going on. I am the type of person who do my best for any assignment
or task, because it’s related to my work. So, even though I am not the type who
could finish it early, but I do not ever, ever, ever, even in my death, do my
task with E-rated or cincai lah in bahasa yang senang. I admit that I cant do
work awal2, but when I did it, I really do it and if I were to work with
someone who do his/her work cincai-cincai, siaplah engkau. Memang kau kene
makan dengan panahan berapi aku. Because for me, you shouldn’t compromise with
work, it’s your job, either you like it or not, you HAVE to do it. It’s your
responsibility. Now, telling you, I have worked with someone who is bossy about
finishing tasks before due. I know she is that type of people and I know I don’t
like to do any work as soon as possible, but I knew I had to do it because I
HAD TO. There’s no other reason. Unless, you want to annoy the person and
submit it late. Hey, walk out la from creating problem, just finish whatever
you need to do and you can live peacefully, if you feel wronged in any way, just do
whatever you can to avoid any internal conflict which doesn’t even worth your
energy.
The point is, I have felt lots of things
that people sometimes didn’t see it and it makes me so grateful to being able
to understand those kind of things. Some people are too blind to see whatever
is happening in front of their eyes and they keep blaming people for not being
able to act like they did because they are ignorant; they cannot understand
people, they do not understand the difficulty of ones and those people are the
people you should have pity on. They would complain so many things and
pitifully, they make themselves look stupid and immature and too blind to see
into people.
One of greatest thing I wanna thank Allah
is the gift of being able to feel even the smallest feeling. For that gift, I am
able to understand people, have pity on people and being able to share the
feeling of others. I am grateful to see hatred of other, because it reminds me
of not doing the same to people. I am grateful to see love in someone’s eyes,
it makes me feel encourage. I am grateful to understand other’s pain, so that I
can smile to them and relieve a tiny burden of theirs.
O Lord, I am grateful.
Thank You.
Allah The Almighty, for this special gift.
